I’m on the fucking side line. :/ I want nothing more then this leg to heal. I don’t care if it rips off just give me two month’s on it and then you can have it. All I want is to be able to be an on the field captain, and help kick some fern creek ass. They are my favorite people to win against. Just fucking let me plaay :/ This is sad.sad.sad.sad.sad.sad.sad
SO you know that hing that makes you instantly crumble? Like those little dog commercials? Yeah well mine is the look on my best friends face when she starts crying. Instant crumble. She tends to look away when she’s crying because she’s finally breaking under the weight this fucked up world has put on her. Today when I looked over and saw the tears running down her face, it was like I was so helpless, because nothing I could say would make it better. I could do a thousand english papers and reaussure her a thousand times, but this goes far beyond stress. These are tears of a little girl who dies for the attention of her father, but instead recieves a slap across the face literally for being such a wonderful daughter who uprooted her life just to make sure his health was alright. I hate how I see how amazing this girl is everyday and this selfish bastard can’t see past his wicked bitch of a wife. Give her a break she’s trying her hardest she may of made some mistakes but she could be worse, as fucked up as you are, it’s a suprise to see she’s turned out how she has. Now she’s seventeen and put in a position of a grown woman. She carries her stuff in the back of her car because now she doesn’t have the security of a home. She has a place to live but it’s not her home, she doesn’t walk into her parents she walks into a relationship. She’s in high school you should be taking care of her, catching her tears, and helping her through all the shit you’ve put her through, but you’re not and she’s suffering for it. When she walks across the stage at graduation I hope you get the satisfaction of being the closest thing to a dead beat dad, because you didn’t help her. She was strong enough to carry on and help herself. She’s amazing and you should see what that girl can do.
Anyone who greets me with “what’s up, you look stressed, hit this with me?” is definitly my kind of person. I’m really usually not into the whole skater boy grundge look, but holy hell you pulled it off. I took favor to those snake bites and that nautical star tattoo. Maybe it was the weed that struck up that conversation where you told me your concept of red heads or “poison”. Then out came the guitar and I found it rather cute when you put your arm around me and helped me play. I feel like we came up with the perfect plan to fix the world. I didn’t catch your name till I was walking out as odd as that was. Thanks for making the highlight of my night.
Things that complicate today
- I smoked soooo much weed last night and I loved it but I fell asleep at 12 woke up at 5 and smoked again. But slept a couple hours. So I feel like the shitty kind of high where you’re like almost completly un high but you feel like a slug.
- I have so much homework to do.
- Parentals are on my ass about everything.
- I got to figure out what the fuck I’m gonna do about this fucking leg of mine, I need to go to work, but they wont let me back with out a release and I wont be able to get that till Wednesday.
- My favorite game is Tuesday and I can’t play.
- Among other things that I would mention but it would just make things wierd, so I’d rather not.
Sunday’s have always been the worst since last December.
If I’m lucky this heart will stop its beating for you and your reckless ways.
I’ve put it on hold for months and it’s coming back unknowingly,
I’ve tried countless times to stop completly but it always fails slowly.
It creeps back in my brain and like a disease it spreads all over again.
Everytime I’m left with scars to show I wont ever win.
Tell me how to stop this madness and get out of this hell I’ve created.
I don’t want to leave everyone thinking of ways I could’ve made it.
It’s a sick and twisted game I play
It goes skin deep and I live on the line of keeping it together and tearing it apart.